Saturday, April 21, 2012

Identity Crisis

How many days of our lives do we spend living in defeat while singing Victory in Jesus? Well, hopefully you're not really singing Victory in Jesus - because that's annoying, but you get the point, right? Fake it til you make it somehow becomes our motto without us even realizing it. You put a smile on your face and go about fulfilling your obligations.

Last Sunday (yes, almost a week ago - yes, I've been thinking about it all week), Pastor Keith started a series on Victory. And right now, I'm not feeling very victorious (but I most certainly have Victory in Jesus stuck in my head! - thank you Southern Gospel upbringing). With the help of my husband, I'm trying to sort out why I am so darn discontent and I think it boils down to the fact that I don't know WHO I am when you detach me from the things I DO. I don't know who I am apart from job titles and positions. I have problems sitting still and I have figured out that I can stay busy all day long and not really know what I did (because it's rarely what I intended to do).

Seriously, is it even possible to not know who you are at 33? Apparently so because I'm having an identity crisis. I decided to make a list of the most simple things I know about ME.

I am:
-a child of God
-a wife (and in turn a daughter-in-law and sis-in-law)
-a daughter
-a friend

Then I made a list of things that I KNOW (even though it may just be head knowledge some days):
-God loves me (even thought I can't figure out why for the life of me)
-God has a plan (thankful for this, because I currently have NO plan. Period.)
-I am where I am for a reason (not just location, but season)
-YHWH (God) provides
-I have a roof over my head, food to eat, clothes on my back and shoes on my feet
-My husband is a gift from God and loves me regardless
-God is good
-I am NOT alone
-I am important

And for now, that's enough. Ever been there?

2 comments:

~H~ said...

I have! I had a mini crisis when I got laid off and then got married.. that was when you met me!! It gets better :)

CrysHouse said...

"You are not your own...you have been bought with a price..."

Words I have yelled, and whispered to myself when I can't seem to remember the point. This was a nice reminder.

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