Identity Crisis

How many days of our lives do we spend living in defeat while singing Victory in Jesus? Well, hopefully you're not really singing Victory in Jesus - because that's annoying, but you get the point, right? Fake it til you make it somehow becomes our motto without us even realizing it. You put a smile on your face and go about fulfilling your obligations.

Last Sunday (yes, almost a week ago - yes, I've been thinking about it all week), Pastor Keith started a series on Victory. And right now, I'm not feeling very victorious (but I most certainly have Victory in Jesus stuck in my head! - thank you Southern Gospel upbringing). With the help of my husband, I'm trying to sort out why I am so darn discontent and I think it boils down to the fact that I don't know WHO I am when you detach me from the things I DO. I don't know who I am apart from job titles and positions. I have problems sitting still and I have figured out that I can stay busy all day long and not really know what I did (because it's rarely what I intended to do).

Seriously, is it even possible to not know who you are at 33? Apparently so because I'm having an identity crisis. I decided to make a list of the most simple things I know about ME.

I am:
-a child of God
-a wife (and in turn a daughter-in-law and sis-in-law)
-a daughter
-a friend

Then I made a list of things that I KNOW (even though it may just be head knowledge some days):
-God loves me (even thought I can't figure out why for the life of me)
-God has a plan (thankful for this, because I currently have NO plan. Period.)
-I am where I am for a reason (not just location, but season)
-YHWH (God) provides
-I have a roof over my head, food to eat, clothes on my back and shoes on my feet
-My husband is a gift from God and loves me regardless
-God is good
-I am NOT alone
-I am important

And for now, that's enough. Ever been there?