Batman? Well, not quite.

A month and a half ago, I was on the phone with my mom, standing in our basement going through a box, when all of a sudden something started flying around. Our basement ceiling is pretty low and it was flying pretty fast, so it was difficult to tell for certain but I was pretty sure it was a bat. I made a mad dash for the stairs, screaming the whole time, trying not to run into the damn thing. I slammed the door to trap it.

As soon as I got upstairs I hung up with my mom and called Ronnie at work. I told him there was something in the basement - a bat, a bird - it was flying around and I wasn't going back down there until it was out! When he got home he went downstairs, armed with the leaf blower. I went to the bathroom and closed the door. What? You thought I was going to help? After about a half hour of effort, he declared me crazy and the basement to be free of all things flying. For nearly a week and a half I slowly creeped into the basement every single time I went down there. I inspected the rafters and hurriedly completed my tasks. I was not taking chances. I KNEW what I saw and I didn't want to see it again. I eventually started to think that perhaps I WAS crazy or maybe it had found it's way out. Whatever the case....good riddance!

WRONG!

This evening Ronnie went to the basement and my bat friend dive-bombed HIS head! Karma. Not only did he have to admit that I wasn't crazy, he had to get the damn thing out. (You didn't think I was going to do it, did you?) By the time he went back down stairs it was crawling around on the floor - malnourished and I think they almost gave each other a heart attack. He finally got it in a towel and out the door. It wouldn't even fly away. He had to go out a few minutes later and shake the towel again to get it to fly away.

A bat. In our basement. FOR ALMOST TWO MONTHS!!! You can't make this stuff up, people.

A Change is Gonna Come

It's been over a year since I last posted. A lot has happened in my life - some exciting things, some things I could've done without, but life keeps going. That's how it works, right? You roll with the punches and keep going?

In the past year:

• I've had a relapse
• Ronnie and I made the decision to not have children (a story for another day)
• I started a new part-time job
• I gained another niece and 2 more nephews - well, one is still refusing to come out and play (looking at you ELI!)
• Ronnie and I bought a house! WHAT?!?!? (lots of stories about home ownership already)
• I gave up church for lent (pretty sure I need to write a book)
• this list could go on for a while...quite a lot has happened

I have thought frequently about blogging. It's more therapy for me than anything else and I've needed some therapy during the last 13 months! I've come to believe that people who think they don't need help in some form are crazier than I am (and that's saying something).

So, I don't know how frequently I'll post or what I'll post about. Worship is still near and dear to my heart, so you may get post related to that periodically. I may post some of the recipes for dishes I fix when people come to visit for all of you who are constantly wanting me to cook you something. If you actually want ME to cook it, you have to come and see me! 

Singing in Church

I read this article today - again:

Why Men Have Stopped Singing in Church

I have a LOT of 'thoughts' about this. I am going to share a few.

It's suggested in the article that one of the problems is how worship in the church has moved from a book of hymns to an unlimited number of songs with the added technology of projection and access to music. They point to the fact that song familiarity has lessened because of the number of songs in a congregations' repertoire and a leader's lack of commitment to make the song more familiar - more concerned with new music than familiarity.

This isn't an issue of why MEN have stopped singing. It's more of an issue of an entire congregation, minus several individuals, not singing. In some churches, worship has become more about performance than worship. We sing songs in keys that aren't accessible to most of the congregation. Most members of a congregation are non-singers - male and female. Now from a vocal instructor perspective, males are more likely than females to not sing in a group setting. (I could give you the research that shows the numbers and explanations. It is basically linked to childhood and someone telling them they couldn't sing, so they stopped. However, it's becoming a bigger issue among women, as well.)

How do you get non-singers to worship? 

• -Choose songs with lyrics worth getting stuck in your head - lyrics that reflect sound theology or are based in Scripture. Who doesn't love a song that brings Scripture to mind when you sing it?
• -Use new songs in your worship services - a LOT - like, until they become old songs. Give people options for downloading the songs, meditating on the lyrics - things that will help increase their familiarity.
• -Choose keys that allow your congregation to sing with ease - not keys that allow you to show off your 'talent'.
• -Practice enough before the worship service that you do not have to think about musical stuff and can simply worship - not perform. If you don't get to the foot of the throne, how in the world are the people you are leading going to get there? 

In my honest opinion, a lot of 'worship services' have very little worship taking place. Sometimes we need to strip away everything in order to really worship. Take the spotlight off of worship leaders, worship teams, musicians, instruments and put the spotlight on God. 

How have we complicated something that should be so simple?

Medication

Today is the 1st Wednesday in a LONG time that I won't be giving myself an injection for my MS. Instead I will be taking this twice a day. Thankful.

Bet You Haven't...

Today was a day for the books - I am not sure which books. I'll let you decide.

My agenda for the day:
Get Ronnie's oil changed at 8AM
Meet with the girl I mentor

Not bad, right?

What actually happened:
I couldn't get in Ronnie's car from the driver's side. The door wouldn't open from the outside or the inside. I load my stuff in the backseat and crawl in from the passenger side. I drive to the shop and beg the mechanic to take a look at it. He does. It's not good. He's pretty sure the latch is broken. The door panel has to come off (I am told it could crack in the process - really? Who cares? I'm currently climbing over the center console.). He calls around to check for parts and then calls the Mazda dealership. I opt to schedule an appointment with Mazda for 1:30PM this afternoon.

Mechanic proceeds to change oil. The car has been making a squealing noise since he replaced the alternator. Mechanic figures out sound is coming from alternator and replaces almost new alternator...again. Noise still there. FAIL. I climb in the car. The door panel is partly off, the window is down. I finally get the window up because I need AC by this point (and a drink).

I have some time before the appointment at Mazda. I decide to make a stop at Target. I climb out of the car (I have this down to a fine art at this point - slide the driver seat all the way back, sling the right leg over the console, move your butt to the console and then to the passenger seat, swing left leg over console. Exit and hope no one is staring at you - but there is always someone). I lock the door, go in and do my shopping. I get back out to the car and realize that the way I normally unlock the door (with the key - in the driver's door - the only place that there is a keyhole - is not going to work. I don't have a key fob to Ronnie's car.) I call Ronnie and while I'm talking to him, I realize that there is a keyhole on the trunk. He tells me there is a seat release inside of the trunk.

Are you following here?

No, there are no pictures - which is sad because I'm certain it was a sight to behold. I crawled through the trunk and into the backseat to hit an unlock button and then I climbed back out of the trunk. The poor lady who was watching me is probably still trying to figure out what in the world I was doing. I opened the back door, crawled in the backseat and hit the unlock button on the front door. I the climbed through the passenger side again to get back to the driver's seat.

I decided on McDonald's for lunch (don't judge me!). I opted for the drive-thru as not to force myself to climb again. I forgot about the window. UGH. I should've just crawled over and got out.

I finally get to the Mazda dealership and crawl out of the passenger side - again. It takes them a LONG time to figure out what's wrong - it's not simple and they don't have all of the parts. I rent a car and head home. I called Ronnie, but he wouldn't let me just trade his in - something about it not being in our budget. SMH!

On the way home I stopped at the grocery store and bought brownies. That's what I was supposed to do, right? Bake brownies after a day like today?

I knew it was WAY past time for me to be home when I stopped at a stop light (because it was RED) and I saw a guy 2 vehicles behind me mouthing because I didn't just run the light. I felt the need to get out of my car and go 'chat' with him. I didn't do it, y'all, but I really wanted to. Instead I came home and baked my brownies.

Have I mentioned that I get to go back tomorrow?

Dot-to-Dot (not Dot Dot)

So this week has been a little rough. I received 3 notices that I was not chosen for jobs I had applied for, but after this week I've decided that might've been a God send.

It's just been busy. I've had a lot on my plate and trying to budget my energy has been challenging. I'm discovering that no amount of sleep cures or gets rid of the fatigue MS cause. I have a hard time explaining it, but its seriously bone-deep fatigue. I sometimes sleep so that it will extend my energy...so I can make it through the day, but sleep doesn't make it go away.

And the headaches...

I had a little vision trouble last Thursday. Once I could open my eyes and see like a normal person, I had a headache...like "go home, crawl in a cool dark place or you're gonna throw up" headache. On a scale of 1-10 for headaches, it was an 8.5. This headache and I have had our ups and downs, somedays we get to a 2, but yet it remains....like a 6th toe. Good for nothing!

Went to the neuro. He thinks it migraines. Duh. I've had them FOREVER. Got steroids (they're not making the headache go away as he promised...just making me sweaty, nauseous and have indigestion). Got migraine meds. Got an appointment at The Headache Clinic...in AUGUST! I may claw my eyes out by then! And we are switching my MS meds.

Right now I feel like I'm somewhere in the middle of a Dot-to-Dot. Like 15 on my way to 100. I have no idea what the picture looks like. Right now I'm ok with that. I'm curious, but too exhausted with the process to think about Dot 16 much less Dot 100.

And for those of you who are curious, Dot Dot (or Dottie) is my in-laws dog. Clo-Clo (their pastor's daughter calls her Dot Dot). Clo-Clo also calls my mother-in-law Dot Dot. She's 2. It's still cute.

God's Perfect and Permissive Will

Ronnie and I were talking last night about this and it's still stirring in my head and heart.

Has there ever been a time in your life when you knew, beyond the shadow of a doubt, what God's will was for your life at that moment? It may have been a job, a relationship, where you should live...but you KNEW that was God's will. God's PERFECT will is why we seek His face.

We desire the best that He has for us, but sometimes 'free will' gets in the way. Free will - you know that thing that God allows us to have so we're not just His puppets? And sometimes, God's Perfect will for our life is thwarted by the 'free will' of other humans (looking at you Joseph - with your nasty mean brothers). We then enter into the territory of God's PERMISSIVE will.

Now, it's one thing when WE make the choices that move us from His Perfect to Permissive will, but it's something totally different when someone else does it for you. As I was reading through a few things this morning trying to wrap my head around this topic, I found the story of "Jack and Jill".

The short version: Jack and Jill knew it was God's Perfect will for them to spend their lives together. Jack proposed. Jill said, "Yes." The day of the wedding comes and Jill becomes a run-a-way bride. Jack is instantly thrown from God's Perfect will into His Permissive will because of Jill's decision ('free will'). What does this mean for Jack? Does he now spend the rest of his life in God's Permissive will? Does he miss out on the blessings that come from walking in God's Perfect will? I suggest not. Mostly because Scripture tells me that 'all things work together for good to those who love God and are called according to His purpose.'

There comes a point when it's simply too late to 'go back', though - the moment has passed. Even if Jill had returned 6 or 7 months later, so much would've changed that God's Perfect will would no longer be God's Perfect will.  It's just sad and disappointing to know that God's Perfect will could have come to pass in a situation and then didn't because of someone exercising their 'free will'. (Selfish) It's frustrating to be the one who feels like you were cheated out of the best God had for you. However, because He works all things for good, you can know that He will redeem the situation.

Jill walked away from her faith and eventually ends up in a not-so-happy marriage. Jack? He's happily married and feels like through it all, God has blessed him and worked all things for good in His life.