Other Possible Motivations

So, Crystal and Kate have publicly admitted their struggle with weight and their decision to do something about it. Thing is, I'm pretty sure I've said on here that I'm overweight and that I've tried to lose. But the fact of the matter is I don't mind to let people down. So, I'm looking for other motivations to keep me on track.

Since I promised Crystal to weigh in everyday, I am -4lbs. (Which puts me back at -25lbs since August.) Pityful considering I was almost -30lbs. I hate the fact that I can't remember a time in my life when I haven't struggled with my weight. I hate the way I look in pictures, but I don't like the thought of never being able to eat things that I love more. I don't have a lot of time and losing weight means I need to be super prepared. I need to meal plan. I really don't have time for all of that right now.

So, this is me trying to work out some possible motivations other than failing in the public arena - because I obviously don't care about that (hence the +5lbs. when I need to lose about 50 or 60 more). This motivation works for Kate, but not me.

Crystal and Kate both want to be healthier. Me too.

Kate wants to be able to wear the cute clothes in her closet. I can get on that boat. I have 4 sizes of clothes in my closet right now and I want to be able to wear the smaller 2 sizes. Right now, it's the 2 largers sizes.

I LOVE LOVE LOVE all things sweet. I eat fruit throughout the day, so it helps to curb cravings, but I am the carb queen. I need motivations to keep me away from sweets, bread and pasta. Even the wedding dress isn't enough. Sad but true.

Exercise is also a problem. I currently get up at 5:15. I teach all day and go straight to the studio most days. I finish sometime between 6 and 7. I eat dinner with Ronnie and go home around 8:30. I get there about 9 and get my things together for the next day. I try to be in bed by 9:30 or 10. I used to get up at 4:30. I currently believe that I like sleep more than I do being in shape. I could also use some motivation in this area.

Am I a lost cause?  I'm really just tired of struggling with my weight. I was to be able to eat sensibly and still not be fat. My body doesn't exactly allow for that, though.